Dogfighting in Sherwood???

I had to write about this before I go to bed so I won't obsess. My son A has a friend sleeping over tonight. He's a new friend this school year and is a nice kid.

So I go into the play room to say goodnight and my dogs Autumn and Tito are play fighting. I said to A's friend, "Don't worry, they're just playing." So B, A's friend says, "I live on a street with a lot of Mexicans and last summer they had dog fights and some of them died." EXCUSE ME????? The first thing out of my mouth was, "Bull." Then kids being kids, the conversation moved onto something else.

Well I can't move on to something else. I am now freaking out that there are dying dogs in Sherwood. Could this be true? Could there be a dog-fighting ring here in white, conservative, christian Sherwood? If there is, you better believe I am going to infiltrate and kick some major ass. WHO'S WITH ME?!

And The Child Goes To.......

W and I are preparing to go to Cancun. Yes, the countdown has begun! Only 15 more days until sunshine. We have our passports. My mom is staying with A. Now all we have to do is our wills. This is where the trouble begins...

We are trying to decided who A should go to if we both die on vacation. I would like my friend T in San Diego to take him (I don't know if she knows this), but W would like his sister J to take him. Now at first J sounds like a good idea. He can be with his cousins whom he loves. J and her husband have a lovely home and participate in their kids lives. He will also be near W's mom and other sister as well.

Now here's the hard part. J and her husband M are republicans. Not just any old republicans; they are the hunting, Jesus loving, against equal rights for same sex couples republicans. They believe in everything I don't. This is hard to swallow. I would like to hope that we have given A a solid foundation to grow from and not be pursuaded too much by the right. As RSG said, "Look at the bright side. You'll be dead and won't have to worry about it."

So I guess we will probably put J down as the guardian and hope we make it back safely from Cancun.

The Not So Good Friend & The Lesson I Learned

This is a story about a girl I will call Princess.

Princess and I were friends from ages 12 to 33ish when I finally told her to fuck off for good. Here's the things I remember about Princess:

When we were 12, I accidentally knocked her sno-cone on the ground. She loudly berated me in front of all our classmates.

Princess once called her Mom to pick her up from school because it was raining and her hair was getting frizzy.

I wanted a framed picture by Nagel. She got the framed picture by Nagel.

I wanted a pair of Guess flap jeans. She got the pair of Guess flap jeans.

I wanted a VW Jetta when I turned 16. She got the Jetta with a great big red bow on it.

Princess would go after any guy I liked regardless if I was having a relationship with them or not. She always had to make sure they liked her.

When we would go to dinner she would ask me, "Why is everyone looking at me?"

Princess got her PhD in psychology, but then decided she wanted to work in the music business like I did.

After I gave birth to A and had horrible PPD, Princess picked me up. The second I got in the car, I was screaming on top of my lungs, just really freaking out crying. PhD Princess' response was, "Does this mean we aren't going out to dinner?"

At this point, I was calling her on her shit. I was just plain tired of being her friend.

We would still talk after I moved to Oregon but I was no longer interested in hearing about what rock star she was trying to go out with and how much she wanted to be a reality TV casting agent. I had grown up and out of our friendship.

The last straw was when she said she couldn't afford to visit me in Oregon but was going to New York to visit family and "Oh, yeah," a certain Foo Fighter would be there too. I told her to never call me again.

There are many other stories but I actually wanted to get to a point.

I haven't thought about any of this in a long time, but while I was at my Grandma's this past weekend, I was sorting through photos. I came upon a picture of me and Princess while we were in high school and guess what?? I wasn't the ugly, fat girl I thought I was. I was actually really pretty. I was stunned when I realized this. I spent so much time hating who I was and what I looked like and thought I deserved to be treated as Princess had treated me. For a moment, I wondered if I had felt differently about myself growing up, would my life had been any different? I realized though that my experiences have led me to be the person I am now and I wouldn't change a thing......

But just for the record, Princess is still single, supported by her father and living with her cats. Take that!

Will I Be Homeless??

Well, it's finally happening. It looks as though W is going to be unemployed. They made him give up his keys, told him he was no longer the GM at U-Haul and to call Thursday. What the fuck is that supposed to mean??? You are no longer the manager but you can have a menial job for no money? We don't even know if Walter will be getting his yearly bonus owed to him.

Here are my immediate thoughts: will we have to sell our house (he says no), will I have to sell my horse (looks that way), what about health insurance as W and I are on medications that cost a lot, will I have to go back to work full time, will W be able to find another job??

Of course the preview for the next Oprah was that of a middle class family who are now homeless b/c the father lost his job. "It can happen to anyone," was the tag line.

W doesn't have a resume so I need to help him put one together. He has worked at U-Haul for 15 years. This is new territory.

I am sick about this and worried for W.

Happy Valentines Day?

So here's how my day went....

I was not expecting a gift from Walter so I was pleasantly surprised that he bought me a gift. He bought me two pair of pajamas which are one of my favorite things in the world. So I look at the size and he bought a WOMEN'S 1X which is size 18-24W! Okay, so I know I'm not a size 2 or even a size 8, but I don't think I am a supersized! Walter said that was the only size they had. He couldn't have gone to another store that may have had my size???

So then my Mom comes to watch A's basketball game and go to lunch. At lunch she was telling me how my Uncle Eddie was called "dumbo" in school because his ears were so big and how awful that was. So I reminded her that because of my ears, I was told by the kids on the bus, "You'd better close your window or Dumbo will fly out." So she busts out laughing and can't stop. What the f*** was so funny? Was it that I was so traumatized that I had an "ear job" at age 12, which I had to pay for? Unbelievable. And people wonder why I am so f-ed up.

How was you Valentine's?

Grandma's Thoughts

I found the following poem written by my Grandma while I was going through her things:

Where do I come from
Where do I go?
I wander aimlessly
I want to know
The what and the wherefore
The who and the why.
Why was I born
And why do I die?
Why can't you answer
Why do you stare
Or are you ignorant
or don't you even care.

I love my Grandma. She's a great writer.

Shopping and Excuses For Shopping

Tonight I felt a bit guilty. My hubby went to a Blazer game. I had the usual D family over and we were starving so I used the good ol' credit card to buy all of us dinner ($110.00). I was feeling bad until W decided not to come home or call until 3 hours AFTER the game was over. He sounded drunk and said he was at a bar. BAR = STRIP CLUB. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling so bad anymore.

This is a pattern. W does something fucked up and I go shopping. I do this not only b/c I love to shop, but also b/c W hates it when I spend money on the credit card.

I had a New Year's resolution that I wouldn't spend anything unless I had the cash for it. That went out the window right away when I charged a Cancun trip and other miscellaneous crap I couldn't do without. Now here's the rationalization....it's okay to spend on the credit card because I am not spending it on frivolous things. I buy things for the house, food, A's shoes, things at Target, etc...so it's okay to spend.

I'll try not to buy anything tomorrow.

25 Random Things About Me

1. When I was little, I stuffed a styrofoam shipping thing up my nose and it disappeared forever.
2. In 1st grade I brought a brown egg to show and tell and it broke.
3. I took violin in school.
4. I was sent to the principal's office in 6th or 7th grade for smoking.
5. 3 is my favorite number.
6. My dream is to go to Africa.
7. I secretly like to cook but don't tell anyone.
8. My horse is my therapy.
9. My sister told me I would be a hooker when I grew up.
10. I love to write and would love to publish a book.
11. I miss Phillipe's french dip sandwiches in LA.
12. Reading is an avid hobby of mine.
13. I watched a prison documentary on HBO on my wedding night.
14. My favorite classic movie is "Yours, Mine & Ours" with Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball.
15. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if I stayed in LA.
16. I want two new tattoos.
17. I like to eat frosting straight out of the can.
18. I was a Duranie!
19. I always wanted to have a "best friend" necklace to share with a best friend.
20. My Dad made me read "The Power of Positive Thinking" when I was in high school. (It obviously didn't work)
21. I love to sleep in and do it quite often.
22. I miss going to USC games with my Dad.
23. I still want to get 8 hole white Doc Marten's.
24. I have only seen 2 concerts since I moved to Portland 9 years ago.
25. If I had the money, I would get a little nip/tuck.

You Can Take the Girl Out of LA but you Can't Take LA Out of the Girl!

It's all about me me me. I want a mini face lift. What happened to my face and why haven't I noticed it sooner? Can stress give you jowls? I seemed to look okay in pictures from last Mother's Day. Could putting my father in a locked facility and moving my Grandmother by myself to an assisted living age me by about ten years? I knew my face was getting a little loose but I didn't know by how much until I looked at my new passport picture. My eyes are sunken in and tired looking but makeup can fix that, but my jowls are making me crazy. Maybe I can do a plastic surgery fundraiser for my face. I just learned that people do fundraising to adopt a kid so why can't people give to my needy face?

I am off to a Superbowl party and then to pick up the girls from the airport at midnight.