May The Schwartz Be With You

Okay, let's talk about religion.

Growing up, my parents would take us to temple every once in a while. I even went to Sunday school for a little bit. We celebrated every holiday which means we had a Christmas tree, celebrated Easter, etc... Religion was not big in our house. I was, however; mortified that my last name was Schwartz. To me, my last named screamed JEW. I denied being Jewish even though I went to a private school with a bunch of rich Jews. I was embarrassed about it. I thought no guy would ever like me because of my last name and hated when roll was taken in class.

In L.A., every religion was around. No one cared what religion you were or even discussed it. It took 30 something years and a move to Sherwood to change all that.

I knew something was strange when every time I would meet someone new, they would ask what church I went to. They were always taken aback when I said I was Jewish. And then when I told them my husband was Christian, I would hear, "How does that work for you?". What the fuck?? Suddenly being Jewish was kind of cool. I may be the only Jew in Sherwood although it is rumored that there is one more.

In recent years, since A has been in school, I have learned to embrace my religion. Okay, so embrace really isn't the word...I'm not a practicing Jew, but at least I can proudly say I am one. I think the big turnaround was when I suggested at the school PAC (kind of like PTA) meeting that for the holiday season, we display every celebration from around the world, not just Christmas; hence the big old Christmas tree in the middle of the school lobby. This was highly frowned upon and received the comment, "Well, what are you supposed to put Christmas present around?" I knew then that I was on to something. I LOVED pissing off these women! Needless to say, I put up a beautiful display of EVERY winter holiday celebrated around the world.

Next up were the Mormons. The Mormons got the middle school teacher fired and a play shut down because it addressed issues that had to do with bullying, ie: gay students, etc... I spoke at the School Board meeting letting them know just how I felt about that. (That's where the name The Crying Jew was born, but that's a different story all together)

Then, the Mormons tried to get a book, that was taught in AP English for 5 years, banned. It was a big thing in all the newspapers. Fortunately, the school board (who I am not fond of) did the right thing and kept the book. The Mormons then tried to win two school board seats....DENIED!

Seeing such bias, bigotry and bitterness has really made me appreciate who I am even more.

Though I am glad my last name is Phelps :)