I leave tomorrow for Florida to see my Dad for probably the last time. Hospice is now going to take care of him. I really dread going because I know walking into his room to see him for the first time in over a year is going to be one of the hardest things. I have had quite a few experiences walking in that room for the first time to see someone dying.
When I was little, my parents took me to see my Great Grandmother who was dying. I vividly remember walking into the room, taking one good look at her and ran out crying. What I saw scared me so much I couldn't bear to be in that space.
When we were engaged, W was in a coma in ICU. My friend Cynthia went with me to walk into the room for the first time to see him. She had to kind of push me in because I was so scared. She kept telling me to talk to him but I couldn't say anything. I just stared at him and watched the ventilator breathe for him.
When my Grandma died, it was expected. We just sat in the room and watched her being pumped full of morphine and waited for her to take her last breath. We decided to take shifts to watch over her. She died five minutes after I left the room to take a break.
So once again, Wednesday morning I will be taking another walk into another room.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
My thoughts are with you. I am doing some "leg work" for you. (as much as they will let me do.)
ReplyDelete